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Breaking Bad: Origin
He was an elf with a job to do. He was an angel with time to kill. Can I make it more obvious? After a very long wait, I am finally publishing this beast of a fanfic. Broken up into four parts, it tells the... love story of two boys who have absolutely no idea what they're getting into. It also tells the story of their friends, and the antics that result from these interactions. Hidden has been kind enough to allow me to write about Virgil Dextrum, Beatrice Miller, and Dante Sinistrum, but I absolutely must stress that I don't own these people at all. Hidden and I just joke about them a lot. The only characters I know in this are Elwood Silverstone, Iseul Soo, and Elysium Charming. Marmion is an enigmatic outlier, and thus, should not be counted. Without further ado, please enjoy the culmination of months of work on my part! Thank you for reading! ---- Part 1: Elwood, Affected In Which Vinewood Poindexter Attempts to Persuade Elmo Goldenbone in Matters Concerning the Cardiovascular System Trigger Warnings: There's a slight implication of a panic attack, but it shouldn't be explicit enough to set anyone off. If you'd like to skip it anyway, just in case, skip all of the italics and bolded italics after the line "He felt sweaty and dizzy and utterly uncomfortable." ---- “Hey. Hey, Woody.” If Elwood was annoyed by the usage of such a casual nickname, one that all of his habitual companions seemed to be adopting as of late, he showed no sign of it. “Yes? What is it?” “Are we done here?” Virgil spoke with unabashed curiosity, even as he continued to wipe blood off his face. The young elf nodded after a brief flash of thought. “We discussed earlier that ingesting a potion that causes internal bleeding would lead to a cessation of our activities for the day. You may depart now to rest, if you so desire.” “Mmm… nah. Wouldn’t feel too good leaving a poor guy like you alone in the forest. How about we go on a walk instead?” He gestured grandiosely, elevating his simplistic request to a ridiculous height. Elwood’s face quirked almost imperceptibly. “And what purpose would that serve?” He asked, voice dull and dry. “Time can’t be wasted on frivolities.” “Come on, Elvin, do you ever look in the mirror? You’re wilting. Some nature would do an elf like you good. We can even go looking for mushrooms if you want. Don’t you like the sound of an adventure?” “Not particularly.” Virgil stared him down. “You do realize you’re light, right?” “I am perfectly aware of the facts regarding my health, Virgil.” It was immensely hard to tell sometimes if Elwood was being sarcastic or just stating facts. Regardless, his tone still hadn’t changed. It blowed feeling like the only one who was affected sometimes. “Then you’re also ‘aware’ of the fact that I can easily carry you… right?” True to his nature, Virgil felt his lips upturn into a smirk. Elwood had his own set of expressions. The polished salesman smile was one of Virgil’s personal favorites, though he couldn’t admit that he’d ever witnessed it. Another big hit was the genuine laugh, though it only bubbled out for single seconds, and only because of shitty horror movies. But the rest? It took an artful eye to notice the infinitesimal changes, to correctly spot the quirks in lip and brow. And sure, Virgil was an artist, but was Elwood irritated or was it just a trick of the light? Elwood’s fingers twitched. “Why are you being so insistent?” A second of processing was all he needed. “Is it a crime to want to hang out with my favorite elf?” “I kill you every week.” “Water under the bridge,” Virgil waved him off, confident that it’d be fully addressed in the future. … Yeah, Elwood was definitely unimpressed. Time to get moving. “Listen, Elwood,” anything worth saying was worth saying sincerely, “I really do just want to hang out with you. You’re funny when you’re not making me throw up flower petals.” Almost instantly, and perhaps even absurdly, he got an image of himself on a surgical bed, staring at Elwood holding up his heart. It’s almost transparent. Daydream Elwood murmured with unconcealed fascination. How very interesting. But, he wasn’t conceited enough to hope that the unfortunate chemist was intrigued by him. Realistically, he was just a leech, a nuisance. (It wasn’t wrong to want to be an endearing one though.) Elwood’s eyes betrayed nothing, all clues swallowed by the murk of green. “You have poor taste.” “Um-” Damn, did he just insult himself? “We can go now.” Virgil silently waited as Elwood packed his clipboard away in his bag. He wanted a little more time to figure out what would be an appropriate response. Should he pass it off as nothing and ignore it? Was it worth saying something? He wished a guide detailing clear cut instructions could fall into his lap and tell him how to live the perfect life. The cheat codes of the universe… But that was impossible. All he knew was that Elwood had been convinced, and he didn’t want to undo that hard work. Operation Endearing Leech is a go. He thought before flashing another easygoing grin. “Ready to get going?” The boy nodded again, his only sound being a soft exhale. They turned, almost in unison, and walked into the woods, leaving only a small patch of sticky red behind. ---- Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. “Are you purposely stepping on leaves?” Elwood jerked, startled by his voice. “Hm?” There were many, many flaws to Virgil’s character, but he was always willing to repeat himself. He privately wondered if he was actually being considerate, or if he just liked the sound of his own voice. “I asked if you’re stepping on leaves on purpose.” Virgil’s lips quirked, but Elwood wasn’t perceptive enough to discern why. “That is quite juvenile.” Elwood pointed out. “Still didn’t answer my question.” He sighed. “If you insist on knowing, then yes.” He spoke defensively. “We all have our little indulgences.” “If that’s what you call an ‘indulgence’,” Virgil did air quotations with his fingers, “I’d love to see you when you’re being selfish.” His chest burned. You already have! A part of him lamented, amidst the clamor of his mind. You are right now! “Perhaps one day,” he said cautiously. Perfect. Vague and level. If he put in the effort, he could finally become a shiny blank slate. Crunch. What caught his attention then wasn’t a mushroom. It wasn’t any sort of sudden movement. Nor was it the feeling of serenity that lodged itself in his heart all at once like an unwelcome guest. It was the aroma of wildflowers and shoots of sunlight. It was the patch of green grass in the middle of decaying leaves. It was a spot of eternal spring, an island marooned in the middle of autumn. Elwood turned to Virgil and rapidly laced their fingers together, unable to speak in the midst of his overpowering relief. The angel flinched away, but their hands remained connected. “What are you doing?” “Follow me.” Elwood urged, tugging him along. “I strongly doubt it is calling to you like it is to me, because of our different biological makeups, but I assure you it is worth the suspense.” “And what’s it?” Virgil huffed, a split second before Elwood tripped right into the grove. “This is it.” Elwood gestured from his place in the grass, voice slightly muffled. “A Safe Haven.” Virgil had stumbled, but only now was he stunned. “I didn’t even see it. It was right in front of me. Holy AHHHHH!” “That’s certainly one way to react to it.” Elwood sat up, stretching his fingers towards the sun. “You called this a Safe Haven, right?” Virgil plopped down next to him, nearly whacking him with his wings. “That mean anything?” “They are akin to bubbles. If a nature spirit has the aptitude, they can create one to shield other spirits from harm. A Safe Haven is only visible to beings with similar characteristics though. We will escape notice while we’re here.” Virgil nodded appreciatively. “How long do you want to stay in here, Elvin?” He sank back into the grass. “Forever, if I could. But a few minutes seems realistic enough. Would you not agree?” “Is this you being selfish then?” He could hear the amusement in Virgil’s voice. The twinge of guilt made him avert his gaze. “That is indeed a possibility.” With a chortle, the angel lay down beside him, shifting to find a comfortable resting spot. “Well, I was right. It’s a good look on you.” Elwood just stared up at the swirling sky, and let himself drift away. ---- Virgil melted into the grass, eyes drinking up the soupy mix of blue and white. There was a weird, but pleasant feeling nestled in his chest. Like he was reliving a fond memory, with cumulus clouds as the stimulus. Definitely heartburn. “Oh, hey, Woody! Look at that cloud!” He jabbed a finger in its general direction. “Doesn’t it kinda look like Azra?” Normally, this would elicit some sort of deadpan response, be it denial or confirmation. But the elf said nothing. Puzzled, he turned his head to look at him. “You okay, Evan?” Face turned slightly towards him, it was clear that Elwood Silverstone was fast asleep. The heartburn instantly got worse. Man, that’s a rare sight. Virgil thought, feeling something a little like fondness and a little like affection and a little like the feeling you get when you splash in puddles during the rain. Sure, they had been at sleepovers together before, but he remembered more the feeling of hitting Dante in the face point blank with a pillow than actually sleeping, much less seeing Elwood asleep. Not that Elwood slept much anyway. According to Iseul, the conditions he needed to actually sleep were so ridiculous that it was almost impossible to sway the tired workaholic to rest. Virgil wasn’t quite sure she was right though. He was 85 percent sure she just used that as an excuse to bury her best friend in blankets. Regardless, he had slept then, so maybe there was a nugget of truth to it. Aaaand now it was probably the time to stop staring at him and go back to looking at sky sheep. Minutes slipped by like quicksilver. Clouds merged and broke apart, dancers in some great aerial ballroom that no one could see. A small part of him felt it would make sense to check the time, but the rest was too boneless to care. Just as his brain began to melt, a cold finger tapped his arm. “Are you awake?” Elwood’s voice was a ghost in his ear. Virgil shifted and gave a noncommittal hum, letting him know he was. His senses still felt dulled, but the only place he had drifted off to was his own mind, not the realm of dreams. “Did you rest well?” He meant it to sound genuine, but it came out as teasing instead. Elwood blinked at him through a haze, his face twitching. For a normal person, that would have been a warning sign. Elwood was no normal person. Virgil felt one final pang as his mask shifted back into place, his relaxed look shielded once again. “Yes. Though I’m certain you have noticed the aura of this place trying to lure you to sleep forever. If I had any interest in magical theory, I’d ponder if this place is, perhaps, a mimic of a Safe Haven, designed to lure beings in for nourishment.” The thought of being eaten by a field was honestly not as absurd as it could be. It didn’t sound pleasant, but it was realistic enough. “Should we stay here then?” By now, both of them were sitting up. “Like, what if we fall asleep again?” Elwood stared at him pointedly. “Are you tired right now?” “No,” Virgil admitted. “It just seems kinda weird to have an adventure in what basically amounts to something’s stomach.” He sighed. “If you wish to depart, that is certainly agreeable, but I thought it might be pleasant to stroll for a while.” The suggestion was so novel and uncharacteristic of him that Virgil thought the field must have won after all. Since when did Elwood initiate activities that didn’t involve mushrooms or him convulsing? “Uh, sure!” He agreed quickly. “But will we be able to get back out? It looks like it stretches on forever.” Elwood gave him a puzzled look. “Well, yes, that is because it is an finite infinite space. Do they not teach this anymore? Exits are simple. The loss is to be expected, but the price is always minor. I always carry an extra ribbon for the sake of bargaining and convenience.” Half of his words didn’t make sense, but Virgil got the gist. “So, you’re saying that we just have to give up something minor and we can leave whenever we want?” “Precisely.” Elwood nodded and stood with a few stiff motions. “Now then. Which direction would you like?” Virgil stood and stretched, rolling his shoulders and stretching out his wings. “Straight ahead sounds cool.” “Mmhm.” And once again they were walking, following the rich pattern of their lives. ---- The older parts of him always came rushing back whenever he spent time in places like these. Childlike wonder pumping through his blood. Happiness and sadness, interlocked together like fingers seeking warmth. All of those things, every single one, were a tiny blaze in his mind’s eye. But it was growing. Combining. Combining. Exhilaration and terror, hand in hand… He absolutely loathed it. His old self was too loud, too raw. The force of that little child made his lungs ache. That little child had left him long ago for the greener pastures of youth, but Elwood still couldn’t escape him. Not completely. There was an invisible thread connecting them, stretching over the vast sum of years, but that little lost child could always find his way home if he wanted. Elwood wished that connection worked both ways. Virgil was uncharacteristically silent, arms resting behind his head in a gesture of unruffled nonchalance. Elwood wondered how he did it. He couldn’t possibly imagine how someone could handle dying so frequently without any sort of fear, but Virgil managed. He could tell him ‘This will melt your innards slowly.’ and the angel would still down it with enthusiasm. The only conclusion Elwood could draw was that Virgil was fundamentally illogical, a quality he could never hope to emulate. He doubted they could have ever formed… whatever it was they had otherwise. (Privately, Elwood wondered if he would be as intrigued by Virgil as he was without him being the way he was. But, he left that as a treat for that little lost child to snack on, and didn’t pour any further thought into it.) (Maybe he should have.) “Hey! Everest!” Virgil’s voice cut through like a knife through butter. “Can I say something crazy?” His eyes shone with giddiness, a feeling dipping a bit into the manic side. “How is that any different from your usual dialogue?” It was a serious question. Virgil mock pouted. “Aw, come on, Woody, humor me.” In another world, Elwood says no. The moment passes, and Virgil is left momentarily unsatisfied. Elwood looked at him carefully, considering it. “Alright.” He decided at last, stopping in his tracks. “I am humoring you. What is it?” Virgil puffed himself up, clearly milking the situation for all it was worth. “Elwood Silverstone,” he dragged out his name with pompous flair, “would you grant me the honor, the privilege-''” “Cut to the chase.” “Fine, fine.” Virgil waved him off. “You said you were humoring me, but I guess not.” All ten of Elwood’s fingers twitched in unison. “My patience is running dry.” He warned, though the effect was dulled by the fact that his voice and face showed no tangible hint of annoyance. Virgil snorted. “Stuff like this is why I like you so much.” ''… hm??? “Which is why I was thinking. How about we go out? Y’know, boyfriend and boyfriend. Aaaand that sounds stupid now that I’m saying it out loud, but hey. If you didn’t like stupid, you wouldn’t be friends with us, right? So. How about it, Ethan?” It all came out in a rush. Elwood found it hard enough to follow Virgil’s train of thought on a normal day, but it seemed like his had actually derailed for once. The words apart were sensible. But together? Elwood’s nose crinkled. “To be frank with you, I was not aware that today was April Fools’.” He admitted as softly as he dared, staring unabashedly at the quirk of Virgil’s crooked smile. It didn’t bother him, knowing that his person of interest was having a jest at his expense. He was used to that sort of thing. Unrequited intrigue affected everyone differently, and he didn’t have the emotion to spare to feel hurt. Virgil wasn’t being malicious; this was just how he was. It would be an outright miracle if the angel was actually being serious. “April Fools’?” A shadow passed over Virgil’s face. “It’s not even close to April Fools’. What are you talking about?” Some part of his mind was screaming, and another part was frantically putting the pieces together, but Elwood ignored them both. “Then I do not think it is appropriate to joke about such matters. What if someone else were to take you at face value? You would be sure to humiliate them. That is deplorable.” “You. You think I’m joking?” Virgil gaped at him, bewilderment written all over his face. The angel’s expression gave him pause. His mind shrieked all the louder. “Are you implying otherwise?” “Edward, this is the most serious thing I’ve ever said to you.” Virgil grabbed his hand and held it up to the sunlight, showing him just how well the two fit together. “Why the AHHHHH would I lie?” Horror bubbled up within him. Elwood felt his knees weaken. All at once, he felt cold and hot, temperatures clashing for dominance. But, the him on the inside was worse off, even as the outside him turned redder and redder, a victim of mortification. No. No, you can’t. You’re wrong. You’re so very wrong. Why me? Why not someone else? '' ''You can’t be serious. You absolutely cannot be serious. No one ever could.. No one ever has… “This is the peak of irrationality!” He blurted out, words like a slap to the face. Elwood pulled away without any sort of delicacy, giving him his best headlights gaze. “Have you lost command of your senses?” “What is this, the 1800s? I’ve never been more right in my life! Well, actually, maybe I have been. But this feels right. Don’t my feelings count for anything with you?” Elwood wasn’t overly skilled at reading people, but Virgil almost sounded desperate. “Unless you don’t like me back.” His heart pounded. His face was on fire. He felt sweaty and dizzy and utterly uncomfortable. Don’t refute him. Just shoot him down. Say you '''hate' him. That you don’t want to be around him.'' Lie and get it over with. He can’t possibly like you anyway. He’ll get bored of you. Just like everyone else. Just like your parents. But I’ll never get bored of you. I’m the only person who-'' “That is not accurate.” Elwood averted his gaze, feeling something prick at his eyes that might have been tears, if he was younger and more vulnerable. “The real conundrum I face is liking you more than planned.” “... oh.” Virgil’s face blossomed into a gleaming red flower. “''Oh''! AHHHH, Woody, does that mean you’re saying yes?” “Um.” Elwood couldn’t look at him directly. It was too much. “Ah. Uh.” There was the feeling of arms embracing him then, and it was only then that Elwood found the courage to look at him. Virgil was shining, smile splitting his face in half. … oh. Those were tears after all. “I do not think I can possibly like you properly.” He avoided the word love. It was oddly shaped. He didn’t think it could ever come to rest in his mouth. “I fear my form of like is too selfish. I am sure to ruin you. I have always ruined the things I am most fond of.” “Hey, chin up, Woody. Didn’t I say I like your selfish face?” He was teasing him. Virgil was teasing him. But, he didn’t quite mind it, and that was perhaps the worst part. “Now, isn’t there something you’d like to say to me?” Elwood pretended he didn’t hear the hint of hope in his voice. “Do you like mushrooms?” Virgil’s grin devolved into a smirk, and everything felt right. “I could get used to them.” “Then I can get used to you.” And even though he was crying, Virgil’s whoop of delight made it worth it, maybe. All in all, this was bound to be the worst mistake of his life. Author's Commentary *Whenever Virgil swears, it's censored by a holy choir. Have fun guessing what he's saying throughout the fic! *Ironically, they both freak out over hand holding in part 4, but that's because both of them were kinda loopy during this section due to the mimic of the Safe Haven *I made the Safe Haven thing up (obviously) bc I wanted Virgil to confess in a pretty field *Both of them are extremely bad at romance. Send help- Part 2: Let Them Eat Cake In Which Isadora Slop Decides on a Course of Action Without Warning '''Trigger Warnings: There's some brief implications of abuse during the first part of the narrative, but again, it shouldn't be overly triggering. If it is, I apologize in advance. You might want to skip to "Nothing without efficiency." to avoid it completely. You might miss some lines though if you do, but the option is there! ---- Not much had occurred after that. They had walked back together, simply basking in each other’s company. Well, Virgil was basking. He was also finding it hard to keep his feet firmly planted on the ground. Elwood, on the other hand, was quelling an impromptu panic attack. He’d have to find some way to factor this newfound development into his plans. He knew his employer would not like this. She was not an especially understanding woman. How would he manage? I’ll just have to work harder. He reasoned. Give her no reasons to suspect that I am ‘slacking off’. If I cut back on sleep and food to work, it’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. Everything would not be fine, but he had gotten into the habit of lying to himself in order to restore the protective layer of numbness he so loved. He turned his attention back to observing Virgil. Skip, leap, wing flap, down to earth. Skip, leap, wing flap, wing flap, down to earth. Skip, leap, down to earth. How very curious. Was this what fondness felt like? If so, Elwood Silverstone promptly decided that it was not for him. They parted ways once they reached the school grounds. “See you, Evan!” Virgil waved. Elwood watched him go. Skip, leap, wing flap, down to earth. He needed help. And fast. ---- Elwood, the thing I love most about you is how smart you are. You understand my reasoning. My intentions for you. All of it, you understand perfectly. You are… how you say, the perfect little sponge for my knowledge. So, you would understand. Understand what, ma’am? You are capable of comprehending that emotion is, above all, a disease. You Selfish Little '''''Thing. ---- Elwood woke up with a start, drenched in sweat. He had only slept three hours. Perfect. Already, the memory of the dream (nightmare?) was dissolving. His mind had been disturbed by an undercurrent of guilt, but there seemed to be no tangible cause. Whatever he was remorseful for, it clearly wasn’t imperative enough to necessitate remembering. “Busy day today,” he murmured to himself, swallowing back the familiar taste of bile. “Busy day.” A sluggish Elwood was an Elwood on autopilot. He stumbled over to the counter, ignoring the buzz of ‘Drink me! Drink me!’ in the background of his brain. With a quick, practiced motion, he knocked back a drink that was more similar to sludge than water. The noise cut out abruptly, leaving behind a nice, comfortable silence. Next were the iron supplement tablets. As always, he already had a cup of water half filled, ready to be used. With a swish and swallow, he downed his medicine, grimacing. What a repulsive routine. Perfect. “Time to wash.” He spoke aloud, a habit he had probably picked up from Iseul. She always announced the obvious, and never neglected the chance to narrate the things going on around her. The worst part of indulging in camaraderie was dealing with the backlash of adopting their mannerisms. (Of course, that meant he could blame his impromptu crying on Elysian, so he wasn’t going to complain.) By the time he showered, brushed his teeth, lotioned, put on deodorant (very gently), and pulled on his clothes, he felt a lot more like himself again. The Elwood that didn’t go around telling people he was intrigued by about his feelings. The Elwood that was solely concerned in matters of the mind. The Elwood that couldn’t feel. Perfect. Elwood smiled at himself in the mirror. The perfect salesman, tired but pleasant, smiled back. “I loathe you, completely and utterly.” He announced, employing his award winning happy voice. It was a carefully calculated truth. “I hope someday that you will rot, and be a distant memory I pull out to remind myself that I am better now. It is what you deserve, you wretched thing.” The mirrored smile seemed on the verge of laughing, as though he had said some sort of splendid joke. Oh, I’m sure I do. He could imagine him saying. But will I? Elwood doubted he would. (It hurt to smile.) He turned away from that fake version of him, rubbed his eyes out of habit, and strode towards his workstation. There was much to be done, and no time to waste on reflections. Reminding himself of the thing he would become in only a day’s time was a waste of emotion. And that was something he could not afford. ---- All in all, the day was productive. No one interrupted him, which he was grateful for. Elwood did not fear an administration that had written him off as an elaborate urban legend, despite the fact that the faculty continued to blindly grade his work, but he did fear his companions. While Iseul had her own special ways of dragging him away from his brewing, her newfound secret weapon (and addition to their little group) was the worst part. All she had to do was merely imply that Elwood disliked hanging out with them, and Elysian would burst into tears. And no one, no one, could handle the shame of making Elysian cry. If it were anyone else, Elwood would write them off as crocodile tears. But, Elysian was, frankly, emotional. They cried when they were incensed, morose, elated, frightened, or vaguely queasy. It was so common that they had even styled their makeup to make it look like they were perpetually crying, mainly because they usually were. But, as fate would have it, they left him alone in favor of having an adventure all their own, which ended in a normally affectionate poltergeist cursing at the pair, and leaving one of them (guess who?) in tears. Elwood did not know that though. He just knew that he had managed to finish brewing some of his recent commissions, and that he had also replenished his stock of flesh melting tonics. He had accomplished a great deal, and all on three hours of sleep and an empty belly! Nothing without efficiency. “Nothing without efficiency.” He hummed to himself, pleased. He had almost forgotten the little mishap from yesterday. Almost. Again, a problem was presenting itself. He didn’t know how to behave around Virgil now. Was he meant to do things? Say things a certain way? If he had to engineer yet another self to present, it would be difficult avoiding the trap of making fake hims for each of his companions to enjoy. Don’t be rash. Elwood chided himself. How on earth would that work? As soon as you interact with more than one, the gig would be up. No more fake selves then. But what was he meant to do? He needed advice. No, guidance. Someone that wouldn’t judge him too harshly for being so… detached. Someone like Beatrice. Elwood checked his contacts. No Beatrice. No Dante. No Elysian. Heck, no Virgil. “... I suppose Iseul will do.” ---- Ise: woody! is it gay to love one (1) girl with all of ur heart Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ Elwood: Am I really your only judge of that? Ise: ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒ uh. yes? what is this, interrogation hour? answer the question. is. it. gay. Elwood: Yes. Ise: (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ ty, bro, u r the real mvp Elwood: Ignoring your sapphic crises, I actually have something to tell you. Ise: lmao what (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ did u finally realize that going 2 my surf comps is fun '' '''Elwood:' It would be easier to say in person. Would you mind getting some cake with me tomorrow? Ise: DUDE Ise: DUUUUUDE Ise: (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵) OF COURSE Elwood: Why are you so enthusiastic about this? Ise: bc of the cake (◕‿◕✿) BINCH Ise: nah nah it’s bc i wuv u (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) Elwood: … is that all? Ise: no, imma blackmail u 2 (๑✧◡✧๑) xoxo sleep well Elwood: Ise, please. Ise: XOXO SLEEP WELL ⊂(◉‿◉)つ ---- “WOOOOOOOOODYYYYYY!” That was his only warning before Iseul tackled him from behind. “I haven’t seen you in, like, forever!” “We talked in person two days ago.” “A day is too long.” She said solemnly. He turned around to face her and instantly felt startled. A day really was too long. Iseul’s hair had changed from magenta to a mix of blue hues. It suited her, but what was really alarming was the amount of bandages on her face and limbs. “What happened yesterday?” Iseul smiled brightly. “Marmion was upset. You know how it is! One second, he’s peaceful, and the next, he’s throwing plates at your head and Sia is sobbing your ear off!” Unfortunately, he did. “I’m fine, honest! Wanna go in and order? I’m going to try a new cake.” “A capital idea, Miss Soo. Simply splendid.” Elwood nudged her lightly to indicate that he was making a wisecrack. His voice did not change. Iseul looked at him sideways, like he grew a second head. “I’m more and more interested in whatever happened to you. Gods, I miss the best gossip.” Elwood patted her arm in a placating gesture. “All will be unveiled shortly.” “Good!” Iseul tugged the door open for him. “If there is anything I hate more than speed limits and dolphins, it’s a mystery!” Now it was Elwood’s turn to give her a perplexed look. “You have poor taste in friends then.” Iseul snorted. “As if! Y’all are the best sort of friends. I have impeccable taste. See, I even used one of your nerd words! Because I love you.” Elwood thought back on Iseul’s slew of horrid crushes and grimaced. “... Let us just agree to disagree.” ---- “Elwood Silverstone, I am going to murder you.” They must have looked like an odd sort of couple. She was everything he was not. “How could you keep this from me for a day? I thought we were ride or die!” He was tall; she was short. He was painfully skinny; she was pleasantly plump. She was athletic; he was not. She couldn’t stand being quiet; he preferred the silence. “''We made a blood pact!” In all ways, they contrasted each other. It was an improbable friendship. “Curse you and your dumb mushroom brain.” … and it was even more improbable that they had ''stayed friends. Iseul angrily ate another bite of her cake. “You’re dead to me.” Elwood steepled his fingers. “Are you truly that furious with me?” “''Gods'', Woody, no.” She gave him a faux shaky smile. “I’m just hurt that you kept this from me.” “You are lying.” Elwood said plainly, taking a sip of his tea. “Well, duh! Dude, I don’t care so long as I’m the first person to know. I. I am the first person to know, right?” She gave him a suspicious look. “You didn’t tell Sia before me, did you?” “No, I did not.” Elwood nodded in affirmation. “Though I cannot speak for Virgil.” “Oh, please. That boy was flying around alllll day yesterday. Seriously! His feet never touched the floor! Not once! And to think it was because of you! Elwood, you pantastic chad.” She clapped him on the shoulder, chortling. Elwood blinked, baffled. “What is a ‘chad’?” Iseul blanched. “I am so sorry. Do not Google that. You will enter a pit the likes of which you will never escape.” “I will take your word for it.” Elwood said, unsure of how to broach the topic that he honestly had no intention of finding out if she didn’t tell him. “MOVING ON!” She cut herself another generous slice of cake, devouring it with a ‘Mmm’ of glee. Iseul waved her fork at him enthusiastically. “Where are you guys going for your first date?!?” Elwood took another careful sip before answering. “I do not think we will be going on any dates.” Her face switched from delight to outrage. “What kind of nonsense is that, Woody? You’re dating!” “Even so.” Elwood insisted. “What is the point?” “The point,” she drawled, “is so you can have fun and do whatever you dorks do. But you guys are too weird to figure that out without help, I guess.” He gave her his best muted unimpressed look. “As far as I recall, all of your dates have ended in disaster.” “Girls are hard, bro.” Iseul gave him a look that was meant to inspire pity and affection. “Girls are hard.” “...” “Okay, okay.” She waved her hands placatingly. “What’s your problem with a date anyway?” The word ‘date’ made Elwood think of being exposed. Fancy outings flitted through his head, ones normally pleasant but ruined by the fact that strangers were everywhere. Always everywhere. Watching. Besides, he had poor experience with dates. Which was to say, none. How could he balance his public persona with the face he showed Virgil? The thought made him feel nauseous. “They scare me.” He confessed. Iseul gawked at him. “You’re weird.” She said at last, voice stocked full with awe. From her, it was the highest of compliments, but he couldn’t help feeling a teeny bit offended. “Hear me out, dude.” Iseul patted his hand. “How will you achieve all of the relationship milestones if you don’t go out sometimes? More specifically, how will I live vicariously through your relationship if you don’t do juicy stuff for me to hear about?” … Well then. She was nothing if not honest. “And what, pray tell, are these ‘milestones’?” The air quotations were, as always, implied. Iseul’s eyes twinkled with malicious mirth. “Well, for starters, there’s kissing-” For starters? Elwood’s ears betrayed him, the tips flushing pink. “I’d list cuddling next myself.” She was teasing him. She had to be. There was nothing but savage pleasure in her smile as he felt his neck turn red from what he was imagining. “And, of course, there’s hand holding, but it’s, like, the romantic ki- woah, Elwood, where’s the fire?” Damn you, Iseul. He fanned his face. “Could you please not say such embarrassing things during our lunch outings?” Iseul pulled out her phone and pointed it threateningly in his direction. “Your face is so red, dude! I should, like, document this.” “Do not.” “Too late~!” Iseul sang. “Do you think Virgil would like this as his wallpaper?” Elwood stared. Iseul smirked. Elwood stared. Iseul smirked. Elwood stared. Her smirk faltered. Elwood stared. “Alright, alright, geez, I won’t send it to him. You’re no fun, Woody!” She pouted, probably trying to dissuade him. “Good.” He said with finality, relishing the return to a normal temperature. Iseul looked at him carefully then, a little smile dancing on her lips. “You’re really smitten, huh. Both of you. I was thinking. ‘Hm, maybe it’s one sided and you’re just humoring our mutual friend.’ But now? Hoo boy, I can tell that a first date is absolutely crucial.” This frankly sounded dubious to Elwood. “Are you absolutely sure you’re correct about that?” Iseul giggled, clearly finding his protests absurd. “Of course I’m right! I’m a lesbian!” “You are, but how is that relevant-” “Don’t worry your ugly little head about it. Ise will take care of everything.” She stood, leaving her plate behind. “I promise! It’ll be the best date ever! You’ll be knocked dead on the spot!” Elwood felt alarm setting in. “I would prefer to avoid that-” “Bye! Oh, and be a dear and handle the check! Love you!” In a blur, the dragon girl was gone. He was right. This was absolutely a mistake. He was going to die. Author's Commentary *I literally only rewrote this fic so I could have Iseul say the lesbian line fgjgogjofg *Iseul's really just Like That and it gets worse (better?) in part 3 *Formatting all of this took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would,,,, *Rest assured, the mysterious Sia (and others!) show up next time *When will I let Elwood rest Part 3: AN INFINITELY BETTER NARRATOR ARRIVES! Transcript In Which I, Soo Iseul, Arrange the World's Best Date for a True Forever Goldenhearted Bestie For Life™ Trigger Warnings: Marmion's description is implied to be grotesque, but there are no images of him and I don't go into detail. Okay, so maybe I’m not the smartest girl on the block. If someone told me a few hours ago that my super duper genius plan to give my best friend the best first date of his life would blow up in my face, I’d laugh and ask them if they’re in the Comedy Club. Hey, you gotta appreciate talent when it crops up! But, if someone told me that now? Well, I still wouldn’t believe them, but there’s no denying that I’ve had a few… uh, how would you say it in English? Mmm. Setbacks. Damn it! I’m getting sidetracked. Let me start from the beginning. ---- So, here I am. The cutest dragon girl alive on planet Earth, running back to school to find one of my besties. Well, actually, that doesn’t tell you the exact truth of the matter. Elwood and Serenity are my True Forever Goldenhearted Besties For Life™, but the others are still my besties too! Just, um, maybe they’re more besties in training. We’re besties, I swear! They just don’t know that fully yet. Does that make sense? Am I spinning a good yarn? Gods, I sure hope so! Knitting is fun; I just don’t really have the patience- What? You wanna hear more? Okay, okay, jeez. Sorry, Oma. Now. Where was I? Oh, right! Me being cute and shit. The scene is set. I’m running back from the place where Elwood and I eat cake every week. As usual, I’ve left him the bill because he didn’t leave through the restroom window again. We’re cool like that. And all that’s on my mind is this date. See, Elwood is what I like to call ‘emotionally constipated’. He always goes “is this what x feels like?”, like he’s experienced major trauma linked to showing emotion for most of his life. As if! He’s just a weirdo. Major nerd alert. So, I gotta make this absolutely perfect, so he can finally understand affection more deeply. … Of course, there’s always a problem. My issue is how different Elwood and Virgil are. They’re not like complete opposites, but they’re still not cookie cutter versions of each other. All I really know about what Elwood likes is watching bad films and doing science nerd stuff, but Virgil’s not like that at all! He’s actually cool (so, like, what he sees in my boy Elwood is a bit of a mystery, if you catch my drift-), so choosing something both of them would enjoy is a bit of a hard task. Luckily, I’m, when it comes down to it, a master tracker! (And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! All those rumors about me are F A L S E! And I’m an excellent driver too, so jot that down!) So, finding Virgil was a piece of cake! In fact, I walked straight into him when I turned down my first hallway at school! That’s how good I am at what I do! “Virgil, hi!” I… exclaimed (?). I was really excited to see him, as you can imagine. A bestie in training is a bestie you gotta cherish. Especially such a cool one! “The man of the hour! I was just looking for you actually.” “Oh, hey, Ise! What’s up?” If you’ve ever talked to Virgil for like more than five minutes, you’ll probably see at least three types of smiles he has. I don’t really have names for them though… uh, just use your imagination! Anyway, he was using a nice ‘hey, nice to see you!’ smile. I almost got distracted with the whole tooth gap thing, but I’m better than that now, so I didn’t. Can you really blame me though? Everyone’s teeth is so different, and it’s weird. Sure, my teeth keep changing, and it’s kinda uncomfortable, but there’s a girl at my surf comps who’s missing like three of hers. And, you know what she told me? They’re not going to grow back! How crazy is that? … oh. Oh yeah. Sorry! Back to Virgil. “I have to ask you something!” “Shoot!” Okay, full confession time: part of why he’s so rad is because he’s always willing to just talk about anything and everything. Serenity doesn’t usually answer her phone, but Virgil’s a bestie that just is chill with someone waking him up during a sleepover just to ask how well he can see in the dark. Not that I’ve done that ever! It’s just an educated guess! Don’t look at me like that! “Okay, if you and Elwood could go anywhere for a date tomorrow night, where would it be?” Not to brag, but I have some hella fly connections, so I was absolutely confident I could hook them up with some classy joint that Elwood would geek out over. “Ah, so he told you we’re dating now, huh?” … okay, but he’d be even more rad if he just answered my questions right away. “Well, yeah, duh. He’s my boy. We’re bros.” Also, maybe I like lording the fact that Elwood sees me as his best friend over the besties in training sometimes. People call me clingy sometimes, but I can’t really see it. Can you? “So, yeah, he obviously told me. Right away in fact!” Which isn’t true at all, but who needs to know that but me? Virgil smirked then, maybe because he was amused or maybe because he can see right through my bluff. Whatever it is, he never says it. “Neat. Though, honestly, I’m kinda disappointed we couldn’t drag out the whole ‘it’s a secret!’ thing a little while longer. Sneaking around sounded kinda fun, y’know?” “Ooo, yeah, I can see your point. The thrill! The suspense! The witty one liners! That would have been fucking sick, dude.” I felt disappointed for them. What’s the point of an unlikely relationship if you can’t milk the adventurous part of it for all it’s worth? Virgil’s eyes lit up. “Same thought!” I’m 100 percent convinced that my eyes did the exact same thing. “Same thought!” I half yelled in a slightly different octave, trying not to say it the exact same way. All in all, I’d say that this was peak mlm/wlw solidarity. “Ah, wait, what was your question again? Ideal date?” Virgil tapped his lip. (I think he did that anyway.) “Yeah! The world is yours, dude! Within reason.” I winked, but I didn’t think I needed to. I mean, I’m not that subtle. “''Purgatory''.” Virgil happily declared, instantly proving me wrong. You can imagine why this momentarily threw me off my game. I mean, I’m adaptable! Just look at my features! Was I always a cute dragon girl? No. Was I always cute? Hell yes. But imagine that! You just get a boyfriend and you already want to take him to a nightclub? Virgil, please. “Uh. How about someplace else, hm?” I said very eloquently, as Woody would say. “Uh, Hell?” Gods, why does Virgil like nightclubs so much? Can you guess, Oma? Do you know? Yeah, okay, you’re right. Not relevant right now. Sorry. “''Within reason,'' Virgil.” I am a very patient girl, but I was already dismayed by his lack of disregard for what Elwood might be comfortable with. Virgil is very radical, but sometimes our wavelengths don’t sync up properly. Totally not tubular. Virgil waved his hands in a bit of a ‘calm down, okay?’ way. I don’t know the nerd word for it, so don’t look at me like that! “Is an art gallery fine?” Now, normally, the idea of getting tickets to an art gallery when an event is happening the next day seems daunting. Maybe even impossible. But I don’t really think impossible is a word that jocks use, and I’m a surfer, so I don’t have to use it. Plus, Virgil and I are cool like that. And Elwood and I are definitely cool like that. If the boy wants to gawk at paintings with his boyfriend, then who am I to judge? It’s much better than nightclubs. “Okay, cool! Thanks, bro!” I gave him a wave and rushed off, already off to my next destination. Time waits for no man, but you know what does? Netflix. ---- Beatrice is one of my special besties in training where I like her and all, but we barely get to talk. I guess our schedules just don’t link up? Anyway, we hang out enough during sleepovers, but just… girls + Elysian night when? You know what she has that I don’t? Guess. … wrong guess. … no. … Hey, my sense of style is just as good! Leave me alone! Do you think just anyone can rock blue hair? I don’t think so. She has Netflix. Come on, Oma, I foreshadowed this already! So, every Wednesday, I hang out in her room and watch a little bit of my favorite show before going to do homework. Today is a Thursday, but I’m feeling that ‘treat yo self’ mood. Yes, Oma, my narration is inconsistent; I’m just setting the mood. Just picture this, alright? Auliver whirls around, face set in a mask of rage. “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME?!?” “THAT’S MY OPINION!!!” “Iseul?” On instinct, I paused the episode and shrieked. “I plead the fifth!” Beatrice gave me a Look™, which I interpret as a ‘I’m happy to see you, but why are you yelling?’ look as opposed to the ‘why are you like this?’ looks I’m used to getting. One day, Bea and I are going to be cool like that, if we aren’t already, so I gotta get myself into the right mindset now. “Why are you in my room?” A good question! Bea’s really smart. “I’m watching Netflix.” I announced, though it was probably obvious with all of the yelling. “What show?” She doesn’t really sound interested, but maybe she is. I don’t know. Anyone who can move that silently on wheels is an enigma that I was never meant to crack. “Keeping up with the Midases!” “And, Ise, do you absolutely have to watch this in my room?” Okay, I’m really bad with tone, but I’m pretty sure she was either being really polite or was on the verge of throwing me out. Let’s go with the former. “Of course! You’re the one with Netflix.” That sounded logical to me. “... right. Well, anyway, Ise, it’s nice to see you as always, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” This confused the heck out of me. “Why though?” “Why?” She looked at a loss, though I don’t think you could possibly picture that. Bea at a loss is like seeing a lizard without a nail; it happens, but it doesn’t feel right. “Elysian and I are going to be working on a school project, so you can’t really stay here. You’re noisy.” That was a compliment and also a fact, so I wasn’t bothered. “Oh, Sia’s coming too?!? Ah, great! I can tell you both the big news in one fell swoop!” “The news?” Okay, Bea was definitely intrigued now. Awesome! “Yes, the news! It’s ya girl Iseul, and I have something to share!” I shook my hands vigorously. Beatrice is a smart girl, so I’m sure she got the memo. She leaned forward in her chair, which was not at all menacing. “What is it?” “No, no, we gotta wait for Elysian!” A word of introduction before you meet them. Elysian Charming is one of those people who views dressing up to the nines as being casual. Ornate earrings, flowing dresses, dainty heels, and a mass of royal curls combine to make it abundantly clear that they’re rich (and the circlet kinda ties that all together), but their face sort of ruins all that. Imagine, for a moment, a really pretty face. Now imagine that the owner of said face decided to use their makeup skills to make it look like they had just been crying and had ruined their makeup. See, Sia is really smart! They cry all the time, so they skipped the extra step and ruined their makeup stylistically by hand! I love them so much. They’re so nice and - oh, just look at the poem they wrote for Beatrice the other day! When I think of you, I think of mud. Mud is fun with friends. I wish I had their literary genius. Sia comes into the room, smiling. For once, they’re only wearing a white t-shirt and shorts, but they still haven’t given up the commitment to their aesthetic; their silver makeup is purposefully smeared. Hi! They sign. How are you, Ise? Oh, did I forgot to mention that they don’t talk? “Hi, Sia! I’m fine! Thanks for asking!” They’ve been teaching me sign, so I try to sign back. Sia’s face falls for a second, but they giggle a bit, so I guess I did okay! Bea and Sia sign back and forth too fast for me to get. I don’t really mind though because I have the best news! The greatest news! The totally tubular, die for me immediately, kind of news! My besties in training are going to love it. “So. What’s the news? Elysian’s here now.” Sia’s rubbing their hands over the fabric of Bea’s blanket, but they’re looking right at me. I have both of their attention all to myself, and honestly? It’s kinda great. Of course, I’m about to ruin that, but I’ll admit that I basked in the moment for like… three seconds. Okay, maybe five. “Have you heard the news about Elwood and Virgil?” And then I dragged it out. I’ll be the second person to admit that I’m incorrigible. The first person is Woody, naturally. He teaches me all of my nerd words! No! Are they in trouble? Elysian signed, clearly worried. Bless their bleeding heart. “No.” Beatrice tilted her head in a ‘what do you mean?’ way. “But please elaborate.” “They’re…” I shot them both my best mischievous smile. “in love! They’re dating!” “...!” Elysian gasped softly, eyes growing to the size of dinner plates. They’ve upgraded to rocking back and forth, happy flapping as they go. Gods, did I mention I love them? I gotta do it every single day! “Wait, really?” It’s rare to see Bea actually shocked. “How long has this been going on?” “A day, I think. S’not important. What’s important is making sure their date is cool.” Yes, I did have my priorities in order. I’m Soo Iseul! I always have my priorities in order. By now, Sia’s crying. I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM THEY DESERVE THE WORLD I LOVE MY FRIENDS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH LET THEM BE HAPPY PLEASE MAYBE MIRACLES DO EXIST. Their hands keep flying. Even Bea can’t help but smile a little in the face of their enthusiasm. “Ah, so you’re planning a date for them, then?” “Mmhm!” By now, the screen had gone to showing little previews of other shows. My fingers were itching to know what would happen next in the Midases’ lives, but patience is a virtue. I guess. “I have to get art gallery tickets.” Beatrice nodded. “Sounds reasonable. At least you didn’t pick purgatory.” I was taken aback. “You know about that nightclub too? Did Virgil take you there?” “Did Virgil what now?” “Never mind.” I quickly said. Elysian gave me a look I couldn’t quite figure out. Do you need our help? My eyes shone, I’m sure. “Oh hell yeah, dude! Elwood absolutely refuses to let me give him a full makeover. ‘You brush too hard, Ise. You pull out my hair.’ Pssh. We all know he’s just intimidated by my muscles.” Well, you are very strong. Sia agreed, like the angel they were. I teared up. “Elysian, I love you so much. Say the word and I’ll destroy your enemies with my cool ass dragon powers.” They don’t have enemies, but it’s important to emphasize the fact that I’d die for them at any given time. Lesbians protect their own. Beatrice has been deep in thought for the past few moments, but she logs back in with speed. “You know what we need to do?” “Have a Girls + Elysian Night?” Let me hold onto my dream. Beatrice smiled in the way my teachers smile when I ask questions in class. “No, Iseul.” “Bea, you can’t just let the Sapphic Squad die-” “It never existed.” She said primly (another nerd word!). “What I mean by our newfound duty is that we have to get those boys suitable clothes. The gallery has a dress code.” Would waistcoats qualify? “... Sia, you’re a genius.” And that’s the gospel truth! See, Sia knows Elwood pretty well now. And a bonafide fact of his existence is that the poor guy loves him some waistcoats. He looks stylish in them, sure, but he’s such a dork that it’s hard to deal with sometimes. If there’s a way to make him feel comfortable, one of those is the ticket. “Okay, so I know what to get for Woody. I know his size. But what about Virgil?” Our eyes turned to look at Beatrice. “Why are you both looking at me?” She feigned ignorance. “You’re his True Forever Goldenhearted Bestie for Life™, Beatrice. We need your help!” “Elysian and I have a project to do, Iseul. Ask another True- uh, I mean.” Her eyes darted to the side. “Ask another friend of his.” The realization struck me like a slap across the face. I was the worst bestie in training ever! “Great idea, Bea! I’ll ask Dante!” See, Beatrice is smart. All of my friends are smart, even Virgil. He’s just rad enough to make it seem like it’s a debatable topic. Beatrice’s smile was a bit off. “Actually, change of plans! We can take a little rain check from that project of ours. Let’s go find Dante.” Yay! I love Dante! Sia started signing something about loving their friends, mainly because they’re sweet like that. … And that’s why he’s cool! “Alright!” I pumped my fist in victory. “Sapphic Squad, roll out!” “No.” ---- Now, contrary to popular belief, I had no problem finding Dante. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada an issue. Being True Forever Goldenhearted Besties for Life™ with a colossal nerd has its perks, after all. You start to get needed insight into how they think and act. To me, smart people are kind of an alien species, so it feels cool to get a front row seat to their behavior. Up close, you know? It’s helped more often than you might expect. I’m much better at pretending I know what’s going on in class now! But, ignoring myself, Dante actually is a smart person. Honestly, I’m like the token jock of the group. I mean, not to call Sia a nerd, but they don’t have any muscle at all. Not so fun fact, but if you arm wrestle them, they’ll cry because ‘you slammed my hand down too hard’. Which, like, lowkey makes me feel guilty, but it’s no biggie. Can’t handle the kitchen, get out of the fire, and all that. “So? How do you intend to find him?” Since I was leading the way, Beatrice was obviously looking for my cool ass dragon insight. “Easy! Nerds flock to nerdy places, right?” … right? Elysian has this special talent where they can sign things as exclamations and questions. It’s all in their face! I’m kinda envious of that; my main expression is, according to Azra, a really vacant smile. I don’t know what ‘vacant’ means, exactly, so I take it as a compliment! Especially because it’s from Azra… She’s so great and smart and pretty and- Ah, wait, where was I? Oh, right! “So, if we look for nerdy places, we’ll run into him eventually!” I flashed a peace sign. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy!” “Run into who eventually?” I did not scream. Whatever you heard, that was some bogus lie! All I did was shout “''Dante''!” because I was happy to see him. That’s it! Sia covering their ears was just a coincidence. So was Bea wincing. All coincidences, definitely not related at all, nothing to see here. “It’s so nice to see you!” I said happily, while my heart most certainly did not need a few seconds to calm down. “The other man of the hour! You!” “Me.” Dante agreed. “But, who’s the first man of the hour?” “Oh You Know.” I patted his arm. “I don’t, but okay.” He gave me a funny look. “What’s with the bandages?” … alright, so maybe I forgot to mention the bandages. Sometimes, I like to have adventures. Harmless, right? And sometimes, I bring along friends. Again, harmless, right? And sometimes, said friends disagree with my other friends. And sometimes, one of your besties will have a meltdown and throw plates around, making another bestie cry. Sometimes, these things just happen, and you gotta take it in stride! But, yeah, part of why I looked so cute was my bandaids! I had a nice, healthy mix of space themed and Hello Kitty bandaids, which absolutely complemented my newly dyed hair. Across my nose was an alien that I’m still trying to name. Hey, Oma, how does Roswell sound? … What do you mean I’m making a reference? I don’t make unintentional references, silly! “Just a little spat with Marmion! We’re cool now though! Right, Sia?” I turned to them for support, hoping for that sweet lesbian solidarity. Instead, Sia looked panicked. Is he here? Is he nearby? They kept signing the same thing over and over again, fidgeting. “No, no, you’re fine! You’re fine! Breathe, Sia!” It’s hard for me to get why Sia would be scared of a little guy like Marmion, but they’re a bit of a softie. You gotta be tough to handle Marmion! You gotta be strong. “Yeah, it was just a little spat.” I continued, after I successfully calmed them down. “He sometimes loses his temper, but I can handle him! That’s what friends are for!” I miss a lot of things, but the look Dante and Beatrice shared wasn’t even remotely subtle. But, no, I don’t know what it meant. Listen, I don’t list talents I don’t have. Body language? Not my thing. Academics? Heck no. So, when two nerds I know and adore exchange glances, I’m always left out of the loop. “I suppose so.” Dante said at last. “I like your alien.” I beamed. “Thank you!!!” I’m only friends with people of culture, thank you very much. “Now, why were you looking for me?” Besides Sia, Dante talks the least in our little group. Which isn’t really a problem because I can fill the space easily enough, but that means I have to get used to yet another voice. His is a little weird, but I can’t quite put my finger on why exactly. Virgil’s kinda feels the same way, but different somehow? I dunno. I guess every voice is weird in its own special way. I struck a pose just because and smiled. “From one friend to another, you are being enlisted into my little operation!” Dante nodded, clearly not surprised because he’s cool like that. “What do you need?” “Do you have any idea how to get Virgil into a semi formal outfit?” It took me only a second to realize that I was being vague. “Because, like, he’s going on a date and the dress code is pretty debonair.” I don’t think you used that word properly. Sia signed helpfully. “Well,” Dante began slowly, “I think you could potentially get clothes for him if they were tailored properly. Obviously, you couldn’t have clothes that fully cover his back because of the bulk of his wings. But, I’m sure there’s a sweet spot between what he’d like to wear, what fits the dress code, and what would be comfortable for him. Though I’m sure you could have pieced that together on your own, Iseul.” “Eh, I doubt it!” It’s valid to be dumb, I think. “Thanks for your help!” Time to call in those hella fly connections- “Wait a second.” Dante stepped in front of me, preventing me from simply running off. “Why are you doing this?” This was such a strange question that I almost didn’t automatically blurt out an answer. Almost. “Oh, for Elwood of course! I’m always here for my True Forever Goldenhearted Besties for Life™!” “Did he ask you to plan this?” He just seemed a little curious, but I started feeling weird. “Well, no, but he didn’t have to. That’s my job as his best friend!” “Are you sure he’s going to be comfortable with it?” The weird feeling increased, but I don’t pay attention to feelings I don’t understand. “Yeah, and if he’s not, he will be.” Hear my determination, world! And let it bear fruit! “Thanks for helping me~!” With that, I waved goodbye and ran away, sent off by the softest of sighs. Shout out to Elysian! You’ve always got my back. ---- By that point, I had kinda forgotten where I was going, or what I wanted to do. This was normal though, so I wasn’t worried. Like every single day, it’d come to me eventually. Iseul… There’s a lot of constants in my life honestly. My friends, the fact that the water by my house is always cold but I can’t feel it, the slowly growing tattoo on my back. And then there’s Marmion. Time and time again, there is always Marmion. Iseul, I’m hungry. Do you have food for me? “You can’t eat, Marmion. You’re dead!” It’s important to remind your ghostly friends that they’re only experiencing phantom hunger from time to time. Why are you asking me that? Of course he’s a ghost! Keep up, Oma! He died back when I was like eight. I remember every single thing about that day! They always used to tell him not to climb down the cliffs, but he was a dwarf, and by the gods, he was going to scale stuff. And then he fell onto some rocks and that was the end of Marmion Erz. He’s been one of my besties every since! I don’t really think spirits can achieve True Forever Goldenhearted Bestie for Life™ status on account of being… y’know, dead, but he tries his best and I support him! OF COURSE I CAN! GIVE ME FOOD! GIVE ME FOOD! GIVE ME-! I whirled on him. “Oh my gods, Marmion. Calm down! We’ve already tried eating! Remember?” And now he was leaking blood all over the floor. You can’t take Marmion anywhere. Why are you so mean to me, Iseul? Marmion sniffled, staring at me with his big ole eye holes. I just want to swallow up the universe, and you’re not letting me. You never let me do anything fun! I was starting to get a headache from how he spoke in my head, but I sympathized with him. He was just another teenager, albeit one with twisted limbs and a weird sense of inflated pride. “I’m sorry, dude, but I don’t think eating the entire world would help your mood. You’re kind of a mess.” I patted the air near his arm. “But, hey! Maybe you could help me buy clothes for Elwood!” Marmion perked up. Elwood? Does he like ceramic yet? “He loves it!” I said, you know, like a liar. “Though maybe he’d love it even more if you’d consider not throwing it at his head every time you see him.” That’s boring, so no. Well! It was worth a shot! Casper the Somewhat Friendly Ghost drifted along beside me. Why does he need clothes anyway? He asked, interest peaked. Are they for me? “Dude, chill with the ego.” I teased him a bit, but full confession? I really wasn’t kidding. “They’re for his date with Virgil.” D-Date? Marmion’s face was hard to read, mostly because of the fact that he was usually oozing everywhere, but he sounded like a mix of horror and heartbreak. You’re lying. I gave him my best ‘oh no, you did NOT just say that to ME’ face. “Marmion, I’m not-” LIAR! YOU ALWAYS LIE TO ME! He started pelting me with pebbles, ones that slowly started getting bigger and bigger and bigger. ''DISAPPEAR! DISAPPEAR! DISAPPEAR! DISAPPEAR! DISAPP-'' I ran, followed by a wave of flying stone. Sometimes, friendship just works like this, and there’s nothing you can do about it. A friend throws a hissy fit, and you just gotta take it like a champ! Or pick your battles and walk away. Or run. It didn’t matter much though! He’d be back with an apology eventually! Until then, I’d just let him sulk. Sulking was fine. … ugh, I was going to need a few more bandages. ---- Which brings me to fighting God in a clothing store! Haha, you actually believed that?!? No, the only thing I fought was the impulse to buy a really cute hair clip for Beatrice and the horror of overpriced formal wear. Eventually, I persuaded the cashier to give me a discount. Several, in fact! Dropping Azra’s name helped, and since she’s definitely my future girlfriend, I don’t think she’ll mind! Of course, she might be surprised by the sudden bill, but surprise is the zest of life! At least, that’s what Mr. Nimble says. Anyway, I hopped into my car, and promptly got another ticket. The police are kinda weird, don’t you think? They don’t even get their own laws! Don’t they know that speeding limits are suggestions and not requirements? Aw, don’t make that face! Chin up! Lemme set the scene for a second. There I am, standing in front of the counter. ‘I regret to inform you that all of the tickets for this event are sold out. So, no, I can not give you two tickets, even though you said pretty please.’ The person at the counter says, you know, like a liar. I wink and say four words. They turn pale. Word to the wise: Azra Olwen is the ultimate weapon. Within seconds, I had two tickets in my hand, all because I said ‘They’re for Azra Olwen’! Imagine that! The power of my future - fingers crossed! - girlfriend is so cool! I’m sure she won’t mind this other bill either. She’s loaded. Rich people don’t need to care about bills; they just glance at them and pay extra. Everyone knows that, even Elwood! He told me so himself that he thought I was absolutely right. Anyway, once I had carefully put the tickets away, I whipped out my phone, you know, like a teenager. Gotta keep my boy Woody in the loop. He was going to be so impressed with me! ---- Ise: woody tell me i’m gr8 (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) Elwood: You have confidence in spades. Why do you need me to reaffirm that? Ise: (◕‿◕) indulge me binch '' '''Elwood:' I will have to respectfully decline. I am a little occupied at the moment. Ise: not 4 long!!! (＠＾◡＾) u are going 2 have a gr8 time tmrw!!! Elwood: Iseul, what did you do? Ise: i fought god on the corner of 1st and amistad Elwood: …'' '''Ise:' ok, ok, i didn’t, but i could’ve bc he’s weak in the face of a lesbian with biceps Elwood: See what I mean. You do not need me to stoke your confidence. '' '''Ise:' ye i know but it’s nice (￣▽￣) Elwood: Iseul. I do not have an endless bounty of free time at my disposal at the moment. What did you do? Ise: i… ARRANGED THE DATE (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Elwood: Ise, that was not necessary. Ise: (´ ε ` )♡ just thank me! there’s no way u would get off ur ass and do it urself uwu Elwood: … Iseul, why are we friends? Ise: bc i’m cool like that ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ u wuv me anyway Ise: but ye tmrw is the BIG DAY and sia’s gonna help me help U look ur very best!!! Elwood: Is it not an option for me to simply opt out of this event? Ise: ٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶ NO Elwood: It was worth an attempt, at the very least. '' '''Ise:' ye ye… (҂ `з´ ) just make sure 2 b ready for us tmrw! it’s makeover time binch '' '''Elwood:' read at 6:30 PM Ise: (╬ Ò﹏Ó) fine then! i didn’t like u anyway (ಥ﹏ಥ) go do ur nerd stuff Elwood: Have a lovely night, Ise. Ise: ＼＼٩(๑`^´๑)۶／／ i won’t just 2 spite u!!! Elwood: Goodbye. Ise: HHHHHHHH 〜(＞＜)〜 HAVE PLEASANT DREAMS BC TMRW IS THE DAY U DIE 10:25 PM Elwood: read at 10:25 PM Ise: woody i will reduce u down to a single atom Elwood: Understood. Sleep well. ---- Aaand that’s all. What? You want to know what else happened? There’s nothing to share. You’re the one that cornered me when they’re already on their date! Sure, I could share what happened while we were giving him a makeover, but why would I do that? That’s boring. And I don’t know what happened on the date yet because they’re not done. Jeez, you’re always searching for the next big scoop, but there is no scoop to scoop! ‘Tell me more about Elwood then’? I already did that!!! Oma, if you wanna find out more about him, just ask him yourself! I’ll even introduce you sometime! Honest to goodness! I promise on my heart! Aw, it’s no big deal, dude. Any time! I love talking about my friends! Like this one time, Serenity- is cut for length ---- I don’t really know what to make of Iseul Soo. She comes off as sweet, but she quickly switches from confident to almost arrogant in the span of a single conversation. She’s obtuse, rude, and probably needs someone to inform her that, no, Azra won’t like her back because she’s not capable of it. But those traits are honestly refreshing. You can tell that, even though she’s naïve, she does care about her friends, and she does want things to go well. Even if she has to fight God to make that happen. ''- Pheme'' Author's Commentary *The scene with Virgil is meant to be ironic, mainly bc Iseul's like 'why are you so inconsiderate' when she's being inconsiderate and dumb to boot *Marmion was originally meant to be a character of mine, but I erased him from existence and then made him a very angry ghost, as one does *Iseul's such an unreliable narrator that her narration is in first person gofjfogjgo *Oma's the person who wrote Elwood's page for context. *I dunno what else to say. Iseul's dumb. People like her. What else is new? This is my favorite part because of that lmao Part 4: The Date (At Last) In Which Things Turn Out Semi-Alright in the End Trigger Warnings: There's a long drawn out description of a panic attack in this chapter, but it's not essential to read! So, if that makes you uncomfortable, skip directly to "Elwood!" after seeing "The Great He-Goat." in bold. Just be aware that, if you do end up reading it, that it's not exactly the best in terms of quality, but it is based on my own experiences with panic attacks. So, please be nice,,, thanks! ---- “So, how do you want to look?” Iseul busied herself in front of the vanity mirror, pulling out tubes of what could very possibly be fairy dust out of countless drawers. “Sexy, hot, or marginally lukewarm?” “If I were to say marginally lukewarm, would that spare me from this silly affair?” Elwood stared at her, unimpressed. “No? Who do you think I am?” Iseul put her hands on her hips. “Just sit back and let Sia do your hair because we’re going to make you look like a dropout.” Elysian paused in brushing his hair in order to free up their hands. You mean knockout. '' Iseul blinked at them. “S’what I said?” Elwood tried his best to relax as Iseul muttered to herself, but it was difficult. He could not shake the sensation of being observed. Normally, Elysian attending to his hair was soothing, but even their gentle touch could not calm his nerves. He was scared of the date, yes, but that could not be the ''only reason he felt this way. There had to be a better explanation for the queasiness in his gut, the perspiration upon his brow, and the slight pressure of a forming headache. Logic dictated that merely having a metaphorical rug tugged out from underneath your metaphorical (as opposed to literal) feet would not cause such a strong physical reaction. The princess behind him worked their fingers through a snag, carefully unraveling it. He let out a soft sigh. “I appreciate the assistance, Elysian.” In response, they drew a heart on the back of his arm. Though he did not turn around, he could vividly picture their soft smile. Why they felt the need to involve themself in this mess of an affair, he would never know, but a muted part of him was grateful nonetheless. Elysian was delicate. They were someone that could easily break. But they were delicate in the ways that mattered. Even as they tugged the brush through his hair, though, he knew he would never voice that aloud. “Woody, how do you feel about this color?” Iseul waved around a tube of red. Elwood knew in a distant sort of fashion that he was annoyed, but it was pushed far down enough to never leak. “No.” He said plainly, his eyes as dull as ever. “No colors.” “You’re boring, Woody.” She huffed. “It’s only lip gloss.” But she carefully put it back. “How do you feel about clear?” “Iseul, I do not see the point in all of this. It is trivial.” He responded. This was a battle of wills, and he wanted to be the victor. “Oh, screw you and your nerd words!” Iseul threw her hands up. “Why are you being so difficult?” Elwood folded his hands. “Why are you being so insistent?” Before Iseul could counter, Elysian violently smacked his arm. He jerked away from the sensation, skin smarting. He did not understand. Why would Elysian, a person who was best described as overly emotional and cordial, hit him? Data… He needed more data… Oh. They were crying. This did not mean much on its own. That was the usual distressing state Elysian was in. But, the expression was crucial to gaining context. Elysian Charming was furious, and it had moved them to the point of tears. Listen to me! They signed, face scrunched up from the force of the feeling. You both need to make up! Apologize! The great Iseul Soo bowed her head in the face of Elysian’s wrath. “I’m sorry, Woody. You too, Sia. I don’t know what came over me.” She said sheepishly, eyes cast to the ground. This was such an abrupt departure from Iseul’s usual attitude that Elwood felt a sudden prickle of suspicion. Was this an imposter? If so, he would not let himself be lulled into a false sense of security. Elysian relaxed before looking at him insistently. Well? They seemed to say, but no movement occurred. They were waiting. “I apologize for acting so rudely towards you, Iseul. It will not happen again.” Elwood spoke primly, gazing at the person that had a 95 percent of actually being Iseul. “Yeah, yeah.” She shrugged. Whatever.” She sounded dismissive, but her smile was loving. “Seriously, even when you don’t use your nerd words, you sound like you’ve got another stick shoved up your a-” Elysian’s hands flew. Iseul, please. “Okay, okay!” Iseul waved her hands placatingly. “So. No makeup. Cool. You’ll still look nice, or I’ll have to turn in my makeup guru dragon card!” Elysian had returned to fixing up his hair, but he could practically feel the confusion leak through their fingers. Neither of them were brave (or willing) enough to ask what she meant by that. “Anyway, you’re going to think I’m so cool in a second, Woody!” This struck him as an especially arrogant thing for someone struggling to pack away makeup to say. “Like, you’ll think I’m cooler than being ice cold. That’s how cool I’ll be to you!” Statistically speaking, this was improbable. After all, Iseul often perplexed him, but she never impressed him. While he briefly considered addressing this, weighing his options let him know that the most painless choice was simply letting her speak. “What is your opinion on art galleries?” Iseul turned to face him, beaming savagely. Well then. That was a peculiar line of questioning. “I have never been to one before.” He said honestly. “Might I inquire into yours?” She made a derisive snorting noise. “Who cares about my opinion? You should be concerned with Virgil’s opinion!” Dismay settled in Elwood’s gut. “Iseul, why would you arrange a date in such a public place? Does my comfort mean nothing to you?” “Look, buddy.” She stared him down. “You should be thanking me! It was either this or Purgatory, and I don’t know about you, but who wants their first date to be in a nightclub?” Elwood could almost feel the offense Elysian took to purgatory being labeled as such. For once, he was truly at a loss for words. “I suppose you are right,” he said at last, “but if the date goes poorly, you of course understand that a great portion of the blame will rest on your shoulders.” She rolled her shoulders. “You don’t have to tell me that, dude. I’m not stupid. But I don’t have to worry about it because you will have fun and you will tell me every single detail.” Elysian cleared their throat gently. “Oh, and Sia too.” Iseul added on as a afterthought. And I will tell the others! They signed. It is most exciting! I will be sure to write poetry about this auspicious day! Elysian wiped away a tear, sending him a watery smile. Oh, and also, I am done with your hair, my friend. Enjoy! He tugged the braid forward for inspection. Like anything Elysian did (beyond writing poetry), it was meticulous and beautifully crafted. There was a word for what he was feeling now. It started with a F… Fondness. Elwood, against all odds, was fond of them both. … He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “Wow, Sia! Excellent work as always!” Iseul gushed. (Sometimes, he wondered how she could pine after Azra with such intensity when Elysian was right there. Affairs of the heart weren’t his forte, of course, but if one had to choose between apples, why would they pick the rotten one?) They smiled and inclined their head towards her. Thank you kindly. '' “Alright, people!” Iseul clapped her hands together. “It’s go time! Woody, are you ready to shimmy into your waistcoat and go meet your man?” If he commented on every single time she said something that was so utterly opposed to his mindset, he was going to go mad. “I have one question. Are you driving me to the venue?” “Well, ''yeah. Do you see Sia driving anywhere?” She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Why?” That settled it; this would be the day that he died. ---- If Virgil didn’t arrive in the next five minutes, Elwood was going to call Iseul to retrieve him, date be damned. He stood there, fidgeting with the fabric of his waistcoat, acutely aware of the passage of time. Knowing his luck, someone unsavory in the crowd had their eyes on him. He already felt exposed, the layers of himself peeling away like an onion to expose the anxious core within. Where was he? “Looking for someone?” Virgil’s cheeky voice was more or less welcome 93 percent of the time, but there were exceptions. Him choosing to speak directly in Elwood’s ear was one of them. Elwood jumped a bit. He hoped to all hope that his face did not broadcast his mortification. “Is it suddenly in your nature to give me a fright?” He scolded him, the smallest hint of stress interwoven into his tone. Virgil hummed instead of giving him an answer. As he waited, Elwood couldn’t help but take him in. He had traded in his usual attire for a dressier substitute, one that fit in with the rest of the patrons’ style while still being absolutely unique. It suited him. “You still have not answered my question.” Elwood reminded him, somewhat self conscious about the fact that he had been staring. It was a simple assessment of his appearance. He tried to reassure himself. It wasn’t a very convincing argument. “Oh! That wasn’t a rhetorical question?” Virgil grinned, casual. “Sorry!” He didn’t sound sorry. Elwood gave him an unimpressed look and hoped that sufficed as a reply. “Are you ready to go inside?” “Wait a second!” Virgil said in a rush before spluttering. “Ah, AHHHHH, sorry. Didn’t mean to yell.” He looked away. “Listen, um…” “Yes?” Elwood prompted him, patient. “Uh, I know that you’re pretty iffy on big crowds, and since, uh, there’s an event tonight,” he looked at a loss, “do you want to um. Hold my hand?” His ears ignited. “Hold your hand.” He repeated, incredulous. “Yeah, so you don’t get lost in there! It’s, er, logical! You like logic! It’s kinda your thing, Woody.” Elwood didn’t get how his tone was so teasing despite the fact that Virgil was clearly nervous about the idea. This boy truly was an enigma. “Please just say yes.” Virgil whispered, apparently losing his nerve. He extended his hand. He stared at it, taking in every finger. What would be the most logical choice? Elwood really didn’t like the idea of getting separated, but was this better? What if he had to run and their fingers were stuck together? What if Virgil- Quickly, before he could overthink it, Elwood grabbed his hand. “It certainly sounds preferable to being adrift in this place alone.” Elwood admitted. “Why divide and conquer when I am so out of my element in this place?” Immediately, Virgil relaxed. “See! I knew you’d agree. Now will you think that I’m rational?” “No.” He chortled. “Worth a shot! Say, Woody, who’s your favorite artist?” He started to tug him inside. Elwood let himself be moved, mind occupied with the question. “It is not something I have ever pondered before.” Virgil hummed again. “You seem like a Monet fan.” … Was that an insult? His eyes shone. “Come on! I’ll personally introduce you to the greats. Dali, Picasso, Warhol, Banksy - You’ll love it!” Elwood’s heart sped up. It was probably the paranoia. “Perhaps not ‘love’, but you will have to enlighten me on what makes those people in particular so deserving of your praise. It will be most informative.” Virgil mouthed the word ‘informative’ to himself, a strange look in his eyes. “Sure! That’s a good word for it! Informative… I like it! Let’s go!” And off they went. ---- As far as Elwood was concerned, this should just be called an art museum. Virgil couldn’t stop talking. “Now, Van Gogh was truly that AHHHH. He cut off his ear! Wish I could be that hardcore.” “And that’s how going back to your artistic roots can start a movement.” “That’s not the real Mona Lisa, but do you know how long my boy Leo took to finish her? Lemme tell you, you can’t ever complain about how long a potion takes to brew again after hearing this figure!” He had no idea how his commentary was relevant half the time, but it was refreshing. Elwood liked hearing him fill the space. It was nicer to focus on the way Virgil formed words than the people around them. He agreed that Monet suited him; of all of the movements he’d seen so far, he liked the Impressionist one the most. “You really need to appreciate surrealism more, Elmo.” Virgil chided him. “It’s impressive! You take the real world and flip it on it’s AHHHHHH! That’s art!” “Is it?” It was, but Virgil’s indignant face amused him. “Forget it.” He huffed. “You didn’t even know who Dali was!” “I do now because of you.” Elwood pointed out. “In my opinion, it does not matter when knowledge is attained. Surrealism defies logic. Clocks would not melt on trees that way.” “But they could.” Virgil insisted. “And besides, that’s why you don’t make surrealist art. It’s not meant to be logical. It’s… It’s… It’s meant to be cool!” Dates were fascinating. He did not expect to have any sort of meaningful debate at this event, but here he was, arguing over melted clocks. Elwood did not want to be hasty, but this seemed to provide a brand new insight into Virgil’s character. Did he only muster an impassioned defense for surrealism though? He’d need to investigate this further. “I have another artist I want to show you anyway.” Virgil gestured to a corner of the hall. “His name’s Goya. And you know, I woke up this morning and told myself ‘Virgil, Elvin would really like Goya.’ So, it must be meant to be!” All at once, he went deaf. Virgil’s lips were moving, no doubt expressing his opinion of the artist in question. Elwood wished he could hear what he was saying, but the blood rushing in his ears was too loud. This was not pleasant at all. The Great He-Goat. ' His skin crawled, revulsion creeping down his spine. What sort of person painted this? Who decided to preserve such a terrible moment? Elwood’s chest burned, a clear plea for oxygen, but he couldn’t breathe. ''And we kneel in adoration before our Lord and tremble in ecstasy at the sight of his cruelty. Suddenly, he was on the floor. Why was he on the floor? Why was his hand empty? His chest hurt. For there is nothing more exhilarating than a mind bent on suffering. “ W o o d y ? ” Someone was tugging at him. “No...” He protested, his head swimming. Elwood pushed away from them feebly. “I do not want to be touched.” They said something that was more buzz than word. That hurt. Elwood flung his hands over his ears. He did not want to hear them. He did not want to hear anything. Air! Air! Sweet delicious air! Elwood gulped it in. Deep breaths, good breaths, focus, focus, focus- We offer our love to him as a gift and he tramples it underfoot. Why wasn’t it working? He was breathing! He was doing everything right! Maybe, if he just inhaled more- “ELWOOD!” Oh. Virgil. They were on a date, weren’t they? It was funny, in a way, but he had forgotten. ---- They sat down together on a bench, the silence between them thick and awkward. Virgil’s hands were folded in his lap. Elwood suspected their experiment with holding hands was over and done with now that he had behaved so shamefully. “I guess I was wrong.” Virgil spoke up at last. “About surrealism?” Elwood guessed. He chuckled hollowly. “No, I’m still right about that. Sorry though; I didn’t know you weren’t a Goya fan, honest.” How bizarre of him to say. “It is not your place to apologize. I did not mean to cause a scene.” Virgil gawked at him. “''Elwood''. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure you just had a panic attack. Who cares about you causing a scene?” “The patrons.” Elwood said automatically. “Forget about them!” Virgil waved him off. “Listen, we don’t have to look at any other Goya works. I promise. If you want, we can just look at Monets for the rest of the night, or we can leave now if you want. I don’t mind! Really!” It was a nice gesture. Elwood appreciated those. He didn’t get a lot of them. “You still have not shown me Warhol or Banksy.” He reminded him as he rose. “It is a shame to only be introduced to one half of the so called greats. And, since I am bound to get lost,” Elwood extended his hand, “you shall have to guide me to them.” Virgil linked their fingers together. “Well, naturally! Wait until you see '''Campbell’s Soup Cans! You’re going to love it!” Sometimes, Elwood thought, it was refreshing to try a nice gesture of his own. ---- THE END ---- BONUS “WOOOOOODYYYYYY, my boy! How was it?” Iseul tackled him, spinning him around in a circle. “Aren’t I the best?” “Beyond a small incident, it was interesting. Virgil educated me on the wonders of art history, which is more fascinating than I initially presumed.” Elwood was convinced any further obscuring of the truth would be sensed by her, oblivious that she may be. “Yeah, yeah, cool, but did you have fun?” She put her face very close to his, perhaps in an attempt to intimidate him into saying ‘yes’. “Perhaps.” Elwood conceded. “Though I do not know if such a word is appropriate for what transpired.” Iseul nodded sagely. “Ah. I see. You two kissed.” Elwood immediately blushed from the absurdity of it all. “''Absolutely not.” She dropped him and shrugged. “Boring. But, hey, one day, you will!” “That’s improbable.” “''You’re improbable!” And so it goes. Author's Commentary *I wrote this months after the other three parts AND most of it was completed in one day to boot, so the quality probably isn't the best tbh *I like writing banter between these two honestly, so that was my primary motivation when it came to finishing this date fic *there was initially going to be a section focusing on where Elwood was during the Iseul chapter but I decided not to for the sake of length and my sanity *I'm going to keep trying to unveil these kids' story through fics, so! hopefully I'll get to them *thanks for the support, y'all Fanart This is sort of presumptuous, but since a friend of mine said they'd draw fanart, if this fanfic inspires you, feel free to make some! I'll put it in a gallery and cherish each and every one. Category:Fanfiction Category:Original Character Fanfiction